Perspective: Are you focused on your strengths, or your weaknesses?
One of the things a lot of people don’t necessarily know about me is that I have struggled with my self-image and with weight gain and loss over the years. In my early 20s and 30s I felt the need to always be doing something for fear of letting my weight get out of control. Over many years I had to learn the best ways to fuel my body beginning in college with understanding proper amounts. Because I naturally tend toward a more muscular stature by the time I hit puberty I was always at least a little heavier than my peers. This only served to perpetuate my struggles with self-image which culminated in so much when I went to college.
In college I joined the rowing team at a university with a nascent NCAA team. I did surprisingly well and even received a partial scholarship my second semester. Being a 5’4” stroke seat among all women who are over 6 feet tall did not bode well for my continued success, however, and I quickly moved on to find new success with my strength coach in Olympic weightlifting.
During my collegiate time as a rower who had never had any proper nutrition training, I thought I could (and should) be eating massive amounts of food, which resulted in weight gain to over 170 pounds at my heaviest (keeping in mind that I am 5’4” tall). Along with my transition to Olympic weightlifting, I spent time learning about the real needs I had, and how to fuel my body appropriately as far as proper portion sizing. I ended up shedding 30 pounds over the course of a few months – all while building exceptional strength. Shocking, right? I left a sport focused on endurance only to find my sweet spot for losing weight with heavy lifting.
Since then, I have fluctuated in my weight naturally, but each time the fluctuation has been smaller and smaller. Over time I learned how to naturally eat in a way that, along with staying active, would enable me to stay healthy and at a reasonable weight.
I don’t like to focus a lot on body transformation and weight loss approaches because I know that is not everyone’s goal – and we all have enough pressure on ourselves to try to be something we are not just because society says it’s the ideal. And to be honest, how we look is so temporary anyway. I do like to share a little of my own journey, though, because everyone has theirs and if I am asking you to let me be part of yours it is important that I share mine.
It can be so easy to look at someone who is strong and athletic and think it is easy for them, so why even bother. But each one of us has our struggles, and I am not exempt from this.
But what I have to say right here is that a lot of this journey for me has been about finding peace with where I am while I am there, and focusing on my strengths, not my weakness. No matter what the scale says. No matter what the mirror says – because, let’s be honest – I know that depending on my perspective or what time of the month or even day of the week it is, I can be insanely happy with how I look one day and the very next day be appalled by what I see. And that happens no matter what size or weight I actually am, so I know it’s a messed up way to evaluate how I think about myself.
So I work hard to make my focus what I am doing right rather than something I am doing wrong:
Am I strong and healthy? Am I consistent in doing the things I know will keep me that way, and get me stronger and healthier?
Am I teaching my kids to focus on what matters by my words and by my actions? Or am I teaching them to have a poor relationship with their food or exercise and themselves?
Am I being healthy and balanced in my choices?
What do you think about when you see yourself? Are you being kind to yourself? Are you focused on the things you are doing right, or where you are falling short?
And if you are spending so much time beating yourself up, let’s get together and have a chat. Let’s find a way to focus on the positive and make a plan for you to have goals that help get you to where you want to go. Let’s work together to help you find and build your strength, rather than focusing on all the negativity that can keep you from getting there.
